What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

{RING} {RING}

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

What are the challenges associated with the birth narratives of Jesus?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Sure no problem officer.

Why am I so wanting to suck a penis?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

HELLO

Yes sir it is.

Can an astrologer predict that someone is in a physical relationship before marriage?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Why does Boko Haram attack its own Muslims?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

After a few moments he returns.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Why do people hate fat people so much, even people who aren't exactly supermodels themselves? It seems like such a deep, passionate hatred, like they're offended by fat people just existing. Fat people didn't do anything to them, so why hate them?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?